Crazy people part one

The neighbors across the street are feuding again. I went out this morning and the one directly across the street said, "don't have anything to do with the people that live upstairs in that house. (she was pointing) They are all 'crack heads' and they egged my car last night."

I assured her that I did not even know the people who lived up there. And there was a fellow scrubbing his car with soapy water by the curb. His complaint was that the eggs took off some of his primer paint. Well maybe the eggs "took it off," or maybe it was the stiff brush he was using to literally scrub the car. I don't really know.

But the first lady was really upset at her next door neighbor. I tried to lighten up the situation by pointing out that she didn't even need reality television because she could just sit on her porch and watch all the neighbors. This did not really console her. She was yelling at the top of her lungs how she had nothing to do all day and was "just going to sit at the edge of her property in a chair and watch the neighbor all day."

When she called the police to report her neighbor egging her car she said that they were "too busy looking at my tits to take me seriously" and had done absolutely nothing about the situation. I did not know exactly what to say about this last remark. I mean if I agreed that she had breasts worthy of looking at, she could easily have me up on sexual harassment charges. On the other hand, if I said, "I don't think they were looking at your tits," it would be a direct challenge to what she had just stated and she was already very angry. So.... I just bit my tongue and mumbled "hmmmmm."

Fortunately for me another guy came walking down the sidewalk that she seemed to know and off she went to tell him about the horrible mean evil upstairs neighbor. I took this opportunity to cross back to my side of the street and quietly withdraw from the fracas. I could still hear her screaming at the neighbor upstairs at the top of her lungs again.

Fortunately my "next door" neighbors seem more normal, and are not prone to being crazy. But believe me, there are plenty of crazy people out there. I hope you are not one of them.

Sincerely,
David A. Youngs