Crazy People IV

Note: the names have been changed to protect the guilty and the crazy.

Will the craziness ever end? One evening my telephone rang. It was Adam.


"I need your help. My wife Eve is in jail."

"What!? What happened?"

"Well, it is all a big mistake. Eve and I were fighting and she beat me up. Then she threatened to kill herself and I called 911. The police showed up and after they questioned us both, they hauled her off to jail."

"Why did they do that?"


"Well, she did not deny she had hit me, and I have a small scratch on my forehead. So they took her off to jail. She is being charged with a felony, and her bail is set at $50,000. You gotta help me."


"Well, I don't have any money. You promised me you would not call 911 any more. Remember the last time you did that, the police came over and wanted to see Eve? She wasn't there, and the police came back during dinner and demanded to see her to see if she was alive. You promised me you would not call 911 any more."


"What am I supposed to do when Eve threatens to kill herself?"


"You might just try talking her out of it. Every time you call 911, the police get involved. Haven't you figured that out yet? By the way, what were you and Eve fighting about any way?

"Oh, I don't know. I might have mentioned to her that I no longer loved her and that I loved our next door neighbor much more than I ever loved her. And then she just up and hit me!!"

"Hmmmm. I wonder why....."

"Okay. But what do I do now that Eve is in jail?"

"You might try waiting and seeing what happens."

"Oh, I can't do THAT. I am responsible for Eve being in jail, and I have to get her out."

"All right. So what do you think you are going to do?"

"I am going to call the district attorney right now and tell him what a big mistake has been made."

"Adam!! I am not sure that is such a good idea. You haven't done real well in calling people lately. It might be better to wait a while."

"Oh, I can't wait. No!! I am going to call the district attorney right now. Bye."

And with that bit of news, Adam was no longer on the line.

I waited about two hours and called Adam back.

"Hey Adam, how are things going?"

"Just terrible. Did I tell you my wife Eve is in jail?"

"Yes... about two hours ago you told me that Adam. Are you okay?"

"Well, I am okay. But I put Eve in jail. It is my fault. And the district attorney won't talk to me."

"Hmmmm. Why doesn't that suprise me? Why don't you get some sleep and call me back in the morning."

"Okay David, but I did get ahold of the district attorney's secretary. She says she doesn't know anything about the case yet. They don't even have the paper work yet."

"Look Adam, there is NOTHING more you can do right now. Why don't you go to bed and go to sleep?"

"My wife Eve is not going to sleep. She is in JAIL!!! And it is all my fault. I feel like going out and killing myself. But then who will feed the cats?"

"Okay Adam, I see your point. Why don't you just stay up all night. Then you will be in real good shape to face tomorrow."

"Oh I don't know David. I am so tired. I think I might go to sleep."

"Well if that is what you really want to do Adam. I will leave that decision with you. YAWN... I know I am really tired Adam. I am going to bed now. Goodbye."

When I woke up in the morning, there were several messages on my voice mail. Guess who they were from? They were of course from Adam. So I called him.

"Adam, this is David. What are the visiting hours so my wife and I can go and visit your wife in jail?"

"I don't know David. I will have to get back to you on that. The secretary to the district attorney said she will call me back just as soon as she gets any information on my wife's case. I have to stay right by the phone in case she calls."

"Well, Okay Adam. It sounds like things are all under control."

"But my dear wife Eve is in JAIL!!!"

"Yes, we have already covered that. She is in jail. I know that Adam."

"But you don't understand David. It is my fault she is there. I was the one that called 911. Then the police came and took her to jail. I feel like hanging myself. What am I going to do?"

"You are going to wait for the secretary of the district attorney to call you on the telephone. That is what you are going to do Adam."

"Oh yeah. Right. David, I have to go. She might be calling me right now."

"Okay Adam. Call me back when you find out the visiting hours, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Goodbye."

Several hours went bye. Adam did not call. Finally I felt like I should call just to see if he was still alive.

"Hello Adam. Hey, did you ever find out when visiting hours are? My wife and I would like to visit Eve in jail and encourage her."

"Oh I don't know when the visiting hours are. But you can't visit her in jail. She is OUT!! It was a miracle. The district attorney's secretary called finally. They had just gotten the paper work. I told her it was all a big mistake. I was NOT pressing charges. She finally asked me what I wanted to do. I told her, 'drop the charges against Eve.' And so she did. And now Eve is out and is on her way home on the bus. It is a miracle I tell you. A miracle."

"Wow. That is great news Adam. And you did not have to post bail or anything."

"No. I think Eve is coming in right now. David, Eve is home. I gotta go."

"Just don't call 911 any more Adam."

"Oh, I know better than that. I won't. I gotta run David. Eve is HOME!!!"

Later I called back and talked briefly with Eve. She had a rough night in jail. Nobody threatened her and she was treated real nice by everybody, but still she was in JAIL!! And she vomited everytime she ate anything because she was so stressed out. She was glad to be back home with Adam, and hoping that they could work things out.

Why do I think that there may be some more adventures before they get everything all "worked out?"

People are acting crazy.
Try to act like you are sane.

David A. Youngs