Humor extends life!!

Thanks be to Johnny Bond for the unusual background in the photo below. I really wanted a totally different background, but you do not know Johnny. He does what he wants.

People do the funniest things. And if you look around and carefully observe them, it will undoubtedly make you laugh.

I was simply reading my cup of Diet Coke that I got from a fast food place. Right there on the side of the cup in big print was this warning:

"Caution: Hot drink may be hot."

I certainly hope so. Perhaps I am a little strange, but I thought that in order to be classified as a "hot" drink, it should actually be HOT!! I kind of thought that the definition of a hot drink was that it was going to be hot. But I also noticed that they did not guarantee it would be hot. It "may" be hot. Or it might be cold. Or perhaps it might be just luke-warm. You just never know. But... if you are one of the lucky ones, perhaps your hot drink may actually be hot.

So I started noticing WARNING labels. On the packaging of a man made log (made from compressed sawdust and who knows what else) was this incredible warning:

"Warning: use of this product may cause fire." Well since that was the specific reason for my buying the log--to BURN IT UP-- I would certainly hope so. But again, note that whoever wrote the warning used a "weasel" word: "MAY" cause fires. No guarantee there either. Nope. The product is INTENDED to be burned up, but if you improperly use it, perhaps you never will??

But warning labels are not the only source of my amusement. Several years ago, while looking at mattresses in a major department store which has since gone out of business, I was startled to read on the label--

"Plinteed in Japan especially for Montgumly Ward" I don't mean to disparage anybody, but that little announcement made me laugh. I mean, if you can't even spell the name of the company you are printing for, excuse me I mean "plinting" for, then perhaps you are in serious trouble.

A friend of mine once wrote and told me that there was a warning on the iron he had just bought that a person should not iron their clothes while wearing them. NO KIDDING!! I mean can you actually see somebody thinking "my shirt has wrinkles. I think I will iron it," and proceed to do so while still wearing the shirt? How would they get the wrinkles out of the back of the shirt? Oh... maybe they would get their wife to iron that part for them. And I suppose there would be wives who would try!! Apparently somebody once tried it... or else why the warning.

And also included with the iron was the warning, "not to be used for the other purpose." Rather non specific there. Sort of like the warnings that Will Robinson used to get from Robbie the Robot in the television show Lost in Space, "warning, warning, danger approaching." Oh now that is extremely helpful. When is danger NOT approaching? How far away is it? Exactly when might this danger arrive and from what direction? Oh, and WHAT might the danger be? That warning is a lot like the current warnings we get about possible terrorist activities. "Warning, warning, the terrorists might do something." Could you please be just a little more specific? It just MIGHT help me be more prepared for the emergency!!

Keep reading those labels,

David A. Youngs