I am crazy about mental health

Recently I noticed something--most of my friends are what you might call "edge dwellers." They are living on the edge of reality. Okay, they are certifiably crazy. One of them whom I will call "Bob" has only one basic reaction to everything in his life--he gets very angry. For example, one day a telephone employee showed up and began to do something with the telephone wiring outside Bob's apartment building. Bob immediately got very angry, ran outside and literally chased the telephone worker off the property. His explanation: "nobody is going to fool with my telephone wiring."

When I pointed out to Bob that the telephone company actually owned all the wiring up to and including his telephone box, and therefore the employee of the telephone company was actually working on his own wiring which was within his responsibilties, and he was probably fixing something that needed fixing so it would no longer be a problem, Bob began to cool down a little bit. But by then the telephone repair man was long gone.

One day, somebody parked in what Bob asserted was "his" space to park in. Oh my! Before the hour was up, he had gotten into a major word fight with the "offending" neighbor (who threatened right back) and it escalated to the point where the police were called. When they did not immediately show up, Bob got REAL mad and called them up and threatened he was going to KILL the neighbor. They showed up pretty quickly after that.

In fact, after a very short while, the police began to know Bob on a first name basis. They did not particularly enjoy coming out to visit with Bob, but his anger necessitated repeated visits. There never was a dull moment around Bob because you never knew what would trigger his next anger explosion.

Bob used to claim that external things "made me mad." In reality, nothing can MAKE us angy--we choose to become angry. And if we can choose to be angry, we can choose to be at peace. As long as Bob never accepts the blame for his anger--as long as he always says it is some one or something else's fault--he will never learn to control himself. Bob can't hold a job, because when a boss points out something he needs to change, immediate ANGER!!!

This one response is all that Bob knows. I enjoy Bob, but his anger has alienated my wife from ever having Bob around us again. Bob needs an anger management program like yesterday. But he won't go to one, because "it's not my fault. They made me angry."

It is like the patient that told his psychiatrist that his mother was the cause of all his problems. The psychiatrist wisely advised "well bring your mother on in so I can work on her then!"

I finally figured out that I really can't help Bob. He is going to continue becoming angry all the time. I wish I could fix him, but I can't.

If you have anger problems, they don't go away unless you do something about them. Get professional help!

Peace everybody,
David A. Youngs