Dealing with controlling people

You know what a controlling person is--it is somebody who feels that have to be in control of everything. If you are around them, then they want to be in control of you too! So how do you deal with a controlling person.

Well, if it is your boss, I guess you let them think they are in control. But for others, I just don't like other people telling me what I ought to do.

Once when I was in the mental ward, (I did not handle stress very well in those days) I decided that the medications I was being given were not helping me, and I wasn't going to talk any more of them. I had been flying pretty high in a manic phase, and the psychiatrist was trying his best to bring me down using drugs. But I enjoyed being manic. Therein was the problem.

The visiting psychiatrist on duty said, "well, if you are not going to take your medications, I cannot help you." To which I replied, "you are not helping me. You have never helped me, and you never will help me. Besides, I don't want or need your help."

Well, the psychiatrist thought he had to be in control. After all, I was the patient in the psychiatric ward, and he was the doctor in charge of said ward.

He said, "if you don't take your medications, I have no alternative but to put you in the insane asylum." I didn't care what the fool did. I still wasn't going to be pumped full of any more mind numbing drugs with what I perceived as horrible side effects. So I told him, "you do what you gotta do. I am not taking any more drugs."

Apparently he did not particularly like that answer. Within 30 minutes, 4 men in white showed up. Each of these men weighed at least 300 pounds, and was built like a line backer on a professional football team. Can you say "checkmate?" Guess what -- those men had come for me. I was given a huge shot in my buttocks that was supposed to knock down a horse, but I was so angry at this event which I saw as invading my personal space, I successfully resisted the drug. Now I was not only high, I was very angry. I never did see that particular psychiatrist again or I might have had a conversation with him in which he would have realized he was NOT in control. It was probably a good thing I never saw him again, or I might be writing this from jail.

Fortunately, a nurse found out about the power play that was going on, and routed me to a half way house instead of the insane asylum. Too bad--I was looking forward to the adventures in the insane asylum. But as my mother carefully pointed out later, it really doesn't look good on your medical records to have been housed in an insane asylum!!

From this incident, I finally figured out that it is far better not to directly challenge controlling people. Just let them THINK they are in control and then go on with your life, doing what you planned to do anyway. This works for bosses too, unless they find out later you did not "obey" them. Then they might fire you to retain control. But if they fire you, they can't control you any more!!

Good luck with controlling people, and I hope you are not trying to be one. It is a very difficult position because nobody will like you.

David